This post is mostly just for me. I wanted to write down our experience before I forgot it. Feel free to skip it.
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| Eating supper the night before Cooper was born. |
Sunday night before Cooper was born, I had been given two shots. I was still taking my medicine to stop contractions, too. At this point, labor had stopped, and I wasn't feeling any contractions. They brought me supper, but there was NOTHING on it that I would eat except the roll. And believe me, I had tried everything they allowed diabetics to have. Thankfully, J asked my nurse and I got to special order what I wanted. :)
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| Me and Coop a few minutes after he was born. I got to hold him for a couple of minutes after they attended to him and before they whisked him away to NICU. |
I had to wait until they moved me to recovery before I could go see him. They were running tests, doing blood work, and taking xrays of him anyway, so I couldn't have gone right away. I was so anxious to go see him. I mean, I was there when I had him, but it didn't feel real. I barely saw him and I was in such a daze that I had had a baby. I had a son!
They finally moved me to recovery, and after the nurse did her hourly duties, J and I took off for the NICU. About 3 hours has passed since he was born. I hadn't eaten breakfast yet and lunch wasn't being served yet, but I didn't think about any of that. I had to go see him.
The NICU is in a separate building from the hospital, and you have to take a special elevator with a nurse access to get there. Then, you cross a bridge to the building, call the NICU to be buzzed in. Once you are in the building, you have to scrub in for 2 minutes (which we got really good at! I don't think our arms have ever been cleaner than when Coop was in NICU.) When I stood up to scrub in, I almost passed out. That probably should have signaled something in me to go back to my room. They allowed me to wash my hands in Cooper's room since I couldn't reach the scrub in sink without standing. Coop was in Room 8, Tybee Island. It was the first door on the left right when you came in from the hospital. He was in there by himself. J wheeled me right up to him; I tried to stand, but got dizzy again so I stayed in my wheelchair. Lynne, the nurse came in and introduced herself and told us what was going on.
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| My first time really seeing Cooper. His right arm is like that because he has an IV in and they have to stabilize the entire arm. His arm is fine. :) |
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It still didn't feel real. I touched him and talked to him, but we couldn't hold him at that point. He was on oxygen, but just a little. He had some fluid in his stomach, so there was a tube to get that out. Then he had his IV and the rest of the cords are just monitors. It was still overwhelming to see him like that. I mean, I knew that's what it would be like. I knew I had a preemie, but it didn't change the experience and feelings once I saw him. I started getting dizzy while seated, so after 30 minutes, I had J wheel me back to my room. When I got back, I almost passed out in the bathroom. Once the nurses got me back in bed, lunch was finally here (about 2:00- I was on the 5th floor, which is the last to be served. When I was in the Ante Pardum unit on the 3rd floor, it was served around 1:00). I felt SO much better after I ate. Then daddy and J went to get my Krispy Kreme. Oh yeah. I was so excited to be able to eat whatever I wanted!!! J's family arrived, so everyone took turns going to see Cooper (a parent had to be there, with a limit of 3 people total). Lactation came to see me and got me started on pumping. (And let me say, the hospital pump is AWESOME! I miss it- not that I miss pumping that often.).
I decided to rest instead of going to see Cooper again. After J went to eat supper with his family, he went back to see Cooper and meet the night nurse. (I think Caitlin went, too? Part of these 12 days is just a blur, which is why I want to go ahead and write this!) Sometime in there (I think?) Coop had taken his oxygen out and his vital signs were good, so they didn't have to put it back!
I woke up all night to pump and if I got anything, we had the nurse send to the NICU to give to Coop. Around 4 am, we called to see how he was doing. And the nurse couldn't come to the phone. Of course, my mind went crazy- was everything okay?! We called back later, and everything was fine. She had been giving Coop his first bath. This was great news because only babies stable enough to have a bath were given one.
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| My first time really holding Coop 5/28 (Do you think I have enough bracelets?!) |
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| J holding Coop |
We could get Cooper out twice a day for two hours. He was under a heat lamp since he was having trouble regulating his temperature, so we weren't allowed to hold him as much as we wanted. I spent most of my time in the NICU except for meals (and only went back to eat because you can't eat in the NICU.) It was finally more real now that I could see him, touch him, and hold him. I heard him cry, watched him eat, changed his diaper, took his temperature, etc.
Wednesday, I was discharged in the afternoon after having a plethora of people come talk to me (business lady, women's services, social worker, etc). I was back visiting Coop a few hours later. I began my new normal. I spent 9:30-12:00, 4:00-6:30, and 8:00-9:30 seeing Cooper. 20 minutes to and from the hospital + getting into NICU. That was a couple of hours a day just for that.
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| IV out! |
Thursday, J went back to work so he could use what few days he had left to take once Cooper came home. It was stressful trying to feed him and pump at the same time since my
mom couldn't help give him his bottle. There was a 30 minute window
Cooper had to take his whole bottle, or they considered it unfinished or
wouldn't let him finish (burned too many Calories).
The nurse had to take out his IV because it was leaking. However, they said since we was eating so well, if he kept eating, they wouldn't put it back in! He was also moved to a new room (St. Simons) because the mom of Coop's roommate was crazy. She was talking to the social worker about all the medicine she had taken while pregnant. The baby was addicted to morphine and was being weaned off of it. The nurse told her it would take 6-8 weeks for him to not need morphine anymore. The mom was not happy! So glad the NICU nurses shared our concern and had him moved.
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| Me giving Coop his bottle. And now looking back at pictures, he really was yellow looking. (He spent 4 days with phototherapy.) |
Friday, Cooper was moved from critical care to intermediate care. It was an open room with 8-9 babies. Curtains could be pulled to make it private. He only had monitors at this point. We were waiting for him to gain weight and eat more. He got to wear clothes!
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| J holding Coop |
All the nurses we had were excellent. They were so careful to show us how to take care of Cooper. They showed us different ways to feed him, burp him, hold him, etc. It was like the baby care class we didn't get to take! It was also a case of too many cooks in the kitchen. What one nurse told us to do, another would tell us not to do! We just learned what worked best for us/Coop and went with that.
As Coop got bigger, the amount he had to eat increased. He wasn't doing so well with the new amount, so they had to put a tube in Friday. This was the point where I lost it. Not once during my three week hospital stay, bed rest at home, any of the three times I was in labor, or when he was born did I cry. The nurses had been so positive about how he was doing. One said he must have forgotten to be a preemie. The Lactation Consultant said we might need to move up our Wednesday appointment since we were going home soon. Then this. I felt so guilty, although there was nothing I could have done differently to change anything that was happening. So many of my Facebook friends were having happy, healthy pregnancies, but I couldn't carry my baby to term even though I was young and healthy?! Why couldn't I get him to eat? (I hid those people on Facebook for a while until I got myself together. All is good now. :)) The rest of the week was a ride of emotions- elated if he had a good day or crushed if he didn't. The nurses said it was like a light switch- one day, his switch would flip and he would be ready to eat 100% on his own.
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| 6/1 |
Sunday he had his circumcision, which also set back his eating. No one told us he was getting it Sunday, so I walked into an empty bassinet. Talk about freaking out! His nurse wasn't around (she was with him) and nobody told me anything. I finally got another nurse to find out and she apologized for no one telling me. Whew! A few scary moments for sure.
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| 6/3 - One week old |
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| We knew it was getting hard for momma to see Cooper, but not be able to hold him. We asked the nurses if our moms could hold him- they said only if we wanted. So here is Dub-Dub holding him for the first time! 6/3 (The thick cord is phototherapy for Jaundice.) |
Tuesday, Coop passed his car seat test. He had to sit in his car seat for 90 minutes and maintain his vitals. We also finally had a nurse explain to us the reason for all the tube feedings and how they decide to try a bottle or just send his feeding through the tube. J and I both were having a hard time understanding why they didn't always try a bottle until this nurse explained it to us. We both had a meltdown, but felt much better understanding what was going on. He was taking about half of his feedings through the tube. To go home, he had to take 24 hours of feedings by mouth (bottle or nursed- didn't matter which). They kept increasing the amount he had to take. We weren't seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
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| You would think they would have comfy chairs since parents spend hours in them. Unfortunately not. SO. UNCOMFORTABLE. The most comfortable chair there was a rocking chair, but you can't rock preemies because their stomachs aren't developed enough to handle it. |
Wednesday, his feedings got a little better, but still had to use the tube at night. After our Tuesday meltdown, we instituted a don't ask policy. We didn't ask how he was doing or how his night was; we just went with whatever the nurse said. I tried to keep it at, 'Did he have a good night?' This helped us relax SO much about him being in the hospital. We would go home when he was ready, and he would let us know when that was. I would nurse him as he was being fed through the tube so he would associate being full with nursing. So glad there was great lactation support!
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| 6/5 |
Thursday, the nurse said that he took his whole bottle at 8, but was still up and sucking on his paci. I asked if I could feed him, but she said he wasn't supposed to eat until 11. So I pumped. When I got done, she said the doctor said I should try to feed him. What timing, right?! I nursed him anyway- and he was HUNGRY! The nurse said this was a sign his light was coming on. All day, he would take his whole bottle and nurse. That night, we would only take part of his bottle, so they would put the rest through the tube.
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| Sleeping with his hands folded 6/5 |
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Friday, the nurse said she thought he didn't eat as much at night since he ate so much during the day. So Friday I only nursed him- he didn't take a bottle. The real test would be at the 8 pm weigh in to see if he was getting enough without a bottle to gain weight. At weigh in time, he gained weight! So excited. The nurse was nice, but told us that if she had to give him any through a tube, the next feeding, she would not offer a bottle. Since Cooper hadn't been doing well at night, we expected him to have to have some through the tube.
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| Nanna holding him |
Saturday, J and I were planning to go to Chili's with a gift card we received from church. It would probably be the last time it was just us two out! When we got the NICU in the morning, the nurse said he had a great night! I tried to leave it at that, but she said the tube might be coming out today if he didn't need it for his next feeding! Wow! We were so excited. The doctor had also changed him to on demand feeding instead of scheduled. He had taken his biggest bottle yet at 6. As long as he got the total amount he needed in a day, it didn't matter when he ate. This is the next step in going home! While we were holding Cooper, we heard them talking about him going home on Monday. We tried not to get our hopes up. We asked if they did weekend discharges just because we were curious. They said, usually no because NICU nurses make the first few doctor appointments and are afraid parents won't do it. We were finally seeing the light though- MONDAY!
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| Such cuteness! |
We went to lunch, and when we came back, the tube was gone! He must have had a good feeding while we were at lunch. At this point, he had had just over 24 hours of good feedings. The nurse said she knew he was ready and would send us home if she could (but only the doctor can.) When the doctor came in, she told us we could go home TOMORROW! On a weekend! They trusted us enough that they would let us go home on a weekend. I was elated. J asked when we could get him tomorrow. The doctor replied, "Anytime." J said, "Well if we can take him home anytime tomorrow, why can't we take him today?" The doctor went and talked to the nurse (you really see the nurses more than the doctors, and I think they understand when the babies are ready more than the doctors do). As we sat behind the curtains straining to listen, we heard the nurse say he was ready!!!! They rushed us through discharge and the CPR teachings, and we were off. We had no idea it would happen, much less so fast. Coming home outfit... at home. Coming home blanket... at home. All we needed was the car seat though, and NICU would give us an outfit and blanket. A couple of hours after hearing we would go home- we were home. My thrice daily trips to the hospital were over. J's daily trips were over- after spending 3 weeks doing it while I was in the hospital, then 10 days after Cooper was born going to see him.
Our stay in NICU was relatively short. 12 days. Many babies born before 34 weeks spend a month there. We know we are lucky Coop was only there 12 days. However, it is 12 days I wouldn't wish on anyone. Those 12 days were the hardest days of our lives. If he had come the first time I was in labor, it would have been more like 50 days. We were so blessed he waited. We were so blessed he is strong and only spent 12 days there. But those are 12 days we would never want to happen the same way again.
P.S. I only cried twice writing this! Pretty proud of myself.
